January 2012
4 posts
3 tags
Where is that button you press to make all our...
Chan Chun Sing
K Shanmugam
Grace Fu
Seng Han Thong
Vivi Bala
bet there’s more
There’s a new policy in town and it’s called Shoot Your Mouth Off. Just stop. Your image cannot afford further stupidification.
3 tags
YOU GUYS. →
Now you can “proactively engineer some bullshit of your own”
1 tag
“When I made the decision to join the Dark Side at the end of the Old Republic,...”
– Darth Vader (e.c.)
December 2011
6 posts
1 tag
Woke up this morning and Seng Han Thong is still...
Yeah so like, prease remedy this interner fraw.
Let's be clear:
(image cred: privileged member of twitterati)
We can all agree SMRT has done a phenomenally bad job at damage control (especially when your VP for Communications seems to be inept at… communicating), but this, Yew Hing, is pushing it a bit far. Are you listening to your ridiculous self? Are you about to start on therapy because of this incident which emotionally, but not personally,...
Train is coming! Train is... oh. Just kidding.
1 tag
"You have your Social Media Strategy in placed."
submitted by Reginald Robot; from invitation to a Masterclass Workshop:
Dear Colleague,
You have your Social Media Strategy in placed. Your results are in, and you are now formulating what to do next.
This is the workshop to add that finesse you require to obtain the results and objectives you crave from your Social Media.
There is more than Facebook, Twitter, Blogs etc, what exactly are the...
November 2011
7 posts
2 tags
“You can smell the… smelly smell.”
– Submission; old news.
This report reads like a sad primary school compo.
3 tags
Slimming company defends its controversial ad
The whole ad was in fact BOTH discriminating AND nauseating, you arse-faced turds. I’m glad the video is now gone.
It's also difficult to put spaces between my...
Submitted by Aimevous
This issue. Make noise. Can’t diagnoise. Return to bace. RETURN. TO. BACE.
3 tags
to that drift hope this clarifies with warm...
Hi xxx,
If I may clarify, there are some functionalities to the web form and perhaps, we can surmise the rationale.
- It is a standard template which allows us to delineate the nature of enquiries - We can obtain some key information about the enquirer and define the customer profile - It incorporates a basic survey to rate our website - Illuminates the...
3 tags
Watchhumein:
Goodbye, Singapore.
I have no idea who you are but I love your video. And because of it, funnily, also this country, a little bit more.
October 2011
2 posts
3 tags
“For the briefing, could we use hard copies of the slides presentation instead of...”
– submission; Ministry of _______
WHAT DO YOU MEAN PAPER COMES FROM TREES WHAT EVEN ARE TREES JUST SAVE ELECTRICITY SCREW THE TREES
3 tags
$trategic KPI + %Synergy% = Love
by Mary-Jane Leo (*edit: published in Ceriph 4, available at BooksActually, Kinokuniya, and GRAPHEME zine lab. Thanks good people who reblogged with this info!)
Mary was lonely and needed
a Partner with the same
>!> Strategic Thrusts <!<
in life- that is, she wanted a love
who liked rainy days and cloudwatching
adventures in spain tumbling
tumbling
tumbling
away
...
September 2011
2 posts
Email from customer
Submission:
This is just one of the many, many emails we get.
Smartphones are often smarter than their owners.
Announcement for clearing leave
Submission:
My HR guy thinks I’m a caterpillar.
This is basically how all your leaves should be consumed.
August 2011
6 posts
oops.
Email submission; from ST article Speak Good English campaign to focus on children:
1 tag
um, what.
or write letters to the forum.
There are a number of great comments to this letter. So far I am awarding the prize to Judy, who can’t even be arsed to spell Ms Ooi’s name properly:
PREACH, JUDY.
1 tag
"To wit about enforcement, my 10 cents opinion is...
and other comments on a CEO’s blog entries, via email submission:
“In response to our government’s call of having more babies, we could see quite a handful of women who are preggie now. I’ve just promoted to a mother as well!”
In response to a post on how to build a better workplace:
“Dear CEO, Appreciate if we could have a bigger refrigerator in the...
2 tags
you know those people who think they're very...
except they are really not, so it becomes impossible to take them seriously?
Submission (warning: long and badly-written drivel):
“I tread with apprehension writing this entry. However, the dangers of chatting with one’s Boss often presents opportunities as well. It either raises your CEP (Current Estimated Potential) or fixes your CEP (Career Ending Point). So here goes nothing.
...
5 tags
THE EMERGE OF TECHNOLOGY
Submission, e-flyer:
Email from supervisor:
[Submission]
“Hi —-,
—- is away tdy. I’ve some amendments to mk.
It’ll be ready by 12/08 Fri, 4pm when I’ve run through the edits with —-.
Tks.”
If you can spell ‘amendments’ and ‘through’, why can’t you spell ‘today’, ‘make’ and ‘thanks’? What’s ‘mk’???
July 2011
4 posts
1 tag
The things my colleagues say...
Submission:
I’m still too constipated to react.
3 tags
cannot handle the stupid of this PA tweet
Do you actually think. we need to be told this shit. one special day of the year.
Bras Basah MRT Station:
3 tags
“Thank you for your attentions.”
–
I find it hard to even give you half an attention.
June 2011
9 posts
2 tags
“They have not only demonstrated the capabilities to use resources efficiently to...”
– Submitted by J.
2 tags
STAIN ON FLOOR
Submission:
And here is “attached file: 110617 Stain.JPG”:
1,222 CASES OF SLIP AND FALL DOWN INCIDENTS IN 2009.
Stains are hurting productivity. Pls Revert hereby declares a War on Stains.
1 tag
Paining Competition
Submission:
2 tags
don't touch my processions.
Submission, via @direcow:
I don’t know what to say so let me introduce you to one of the best and finest processions of our time:
“The System’s backend processes of extracting, converting and loading data...”
– Submitted by s:
1. I don’t think He would be very happy that the System is getting the same respect as He is.
2. From which the data are pulled from? (Data IS sounds better, but I’m going to let that go since it’s technically correct.)
DON’T. point out how much...
Ten Steps to Communicating Effectively | POSKOD.SG →
by Laremy Lee
“A well-delivered message, however, will live on in our hearts, minds, and Social Studies textbooks forever.”
PUB can now predict the future
Submission via @aitweetmai:
May 2011
10 posts
1 tag
Would you like to partner through partnership?
Submission; from here:
Yes please.
CSI: Muffin
Submission:
WAIT FOR IT
WAIT FOR IT
I spoke to the Muslim microwaves that I know but none of them like burnt muffins either.
2 tags
I don't know how this pls.revert email address...
2 tags
"He said his committee will comprise of...
Submitted by trufflepuff:
Pls click on this link, which will link you to the link.
asspand your vocabularity
Submission:
1. DEEP DIVE: to learn deep deep as in, “This software allows student to take deep dives, and teachers to perform take-the-pulse assessment.”
2. FRONTAL TEACHING: to teach in an explicit manner as in, “We aim to steer teachers away from frontal teaching in their pedagogy.”
3. TAKE-THE-PULSE ASSESSMENT: to check a student’s vital signs to ensure he is...
1 tag
"low-hanging fruit"
Definition: an outcome that is easy to achieve.
Most recently used as follows:
“Yes, this project is a low hanging fruit.”
or
“We must grab/target the low hanging fruit first lah.”
WHAT IS WITH ALL THIS TALK HEY?
1 tag
Profound Signage at High Brow Singapore Biennale
Submission; picture taken at Old Kallang Airport
1 tag
Does anyone do QC on FAQs?
Submission:
Q7. Bank loan for HDB flat is it ok pls?
IS IT? IS IT OK PLS???? PLS LET IT BE OK.
Apologies for gross neglect
I was going to retire from this whole shebang but then they offered me the position of Senior Overlord Civil Servant-Mentor Emeritus, and it’d be like, rude to say no.